6B

Do we find love important and therefore feel its intrinsic pain, or does that very same pain cause us to value love so highly?

Firstly, this whole question is based off of the belief that pain is in fact a part of love, inseparable and constant. That's not to say that love is only pain; few people would say that when they kiss the one they love they do not experience some happiness. There may be, though, those who say that their love only causes them happiness. However, do they not experience some fear that they may lose their loved one? Even if they don't, by virtue of being utterly secure in their relationship, fear their beloved leaving them, they must fear some external force separating them: Death, for example. Therefore, at the very least love leads to fear, which is a type of pain.

However, does love only lead to pain? Does pain itself not lead to love? If a person feels love, they want the object of their affection. In fact, they act towards their loved one very much like another may act towards a cherished or sought after material good. Perhaps, then, people feel pain when wanting another person, and seek requited love as a relief for that pain.

But, why do people feel pain, why do they want that person? In the tale of the Lady of Astolat, the lady dies from the pain she feels, from the love she feels for Lancelot. Where did this pain come from? It could not have appeared for no reason, from no cause, with the only relief coming from Lancelot's affection. No, the Lady of Astolat's pain must have come from her regard for and love of Lancelot.

Still, that doesn't answer the question of if pain causes love to be valued, or if the high value of love causes pain. If we take the Lady of Astolat's tale to hold truth in its core, then we must conclude that the intensity of her love, the importance it held for her, caused her to feel pain when it was unrequited. Somehow, though, that answer feels incomplete. Why did the Lady of Astolat need so badly for Lancelot to requite her love?

Perhaps it is because the answer is that the value and pain of love both cause each other; neither one is the first of the cycle as they are, in fact, the same. Loving someone doesn't just cause pain. Loving someone *is* pain; love is the need to have them by you, and that need is a need because you fear losing that person or being deemed not good enough by a person whom you hold in the highest esteem. And yet, you so fear because you need. Pain comes from the importance we place on love, but that very importance comes from the pain and intensity that is inseparable from loving another person.